Friday, February 09, 2007

"Fish Have to Poop, Too!" and Other Things You Never Thought You'd Hear Yourself Say

Wouldn't that be a great book title?

Sometimes, we parents (and even non-parents - anyone who has interacted with a child will do!) are forced into saying the strangest things, and we can only shake our heads and laugh.

Here is my "duct-tape your mouth shut" moment:

Micah, as a toddler, liked bouncy balls of all shapes and sizes. His favorites, though, were the ones filled with air, and about four inches in diameter. A steady walker, he always had one in each hand, wherever he went.

Corban, being a typical four-year-old big brother, liked to jump on the balls with his feet. I had repeatedly asked him not to, because I was afraid they would pop!

One evening, as Kevin and I sat together and the boys played on the living room floor, Corban did it again. I got to my feet and headed towards him, saying firmly, "Corban, I've told you and told you - stop jumping on Micah's balls!"

Well, dear reader, I did not find anything funny in that statement. Until I looked at Kevin, who was bright red and clamping his lips together, trying to hold in the laugh that was threatening to undo my discipline.

Now, whenever I am asked to tell the story, (which is often - my family thinks it is hilarious!) I am very careful with my wording.

"Micah used to love, um, those spherical things?"

"You mean...balls?"

"Yes, those, anyway, he always had one with him..."


And the title of this post comes from a conversation we had as we pressed our noses to the goldfish bowl and watched Buzz and Woody swim aimlessly around. Buzz had apparently eaten too much, Corban wanted to know why, and that was that. Another moment. Another laugh.

What's your story? Have you ever found yourself saying something you never thought you would? Do tell!

15 fellow travelers shared:

Lundie said...

My husband and I were at a Welcome Home party for an old co-worker who had just returned from serving in Iraq. We were talking with his old boss and she was explaining how her family were all into martial arts and each of them ranked brown belt, black belt etc.

I asked her, "So, do you have a really nice rack?"

She grinned, threw her shoulders back and said "Why, yes I do, THANK YOU!"

I couldn't get our husbands off the floor...

Stacy said...


Your "spherical things" comment had me laughing HARD! :)

I always walk straight into those double-meaning-type words or phrases. I would never think a thing of it unless I had my husband around to point it out.

But of course I can't think of any right now! I'll have to ask him for my latest. I'm sure HE remembers!


ps- I loved hearing the things your boys said-- "Coka" and "Ps!" :) Very cute. And I *do* write them down. :)

mommy to four j's said...

That was very cute. Your children sound very funny.

Stacy said...


I just saw the new picture on your sidebar.

Thank you, dear you.


Andrea said...

All the time!!!
Funny story---tee hee.

Randi said...

My youngest son once told me that he "flushes with his foot". This was in a public restroom and he told me that daddy had told him that was the way to do it, rather than with your hand. I don't know why but I always thought that was hilarious---maybe because he said it so seriously!

Kari Z. Murphy said...

Elise - this is too funny!

Ya'll really have a thing about "poop" over there, don't you?

My beloved and I are *always* saying, "Never thought I would say *that*..." I'll have to find another brain cell to rub together with mine to see if I can remember any!

Teena said...

oh my..... how funny!

Wyatt just turned 5.... he said
"there's a boy who has boogies in his nose, and he don't get 'em out... and it is nasty!" LOLOLO

we rolled laughing!


Christine said...

That is hysterical! I would ask you to tell it again and again too, if I were in your family... Have a wonderful weekend!

rcsnickers said...

Sounds like our house! I have to also share that our sons play with a dinosaur named "Horny!" He is a Parasopholus Dinosaur with a big horn on the top of his head. It makes us laugh every time. "Here comes Horney they say!"

Thanks for the laughs from your house.


Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Hysterical Elise! I find myself seaying things all the time I swore I never would have, like "that will put your eye out!" and "there are starving kids in Africa!" :)

Kate said...

Since my son's name is Jack, I find myself saying stuff like, "Hey, can you please drop JACK OFF at school for me?" and "Honey, can you get JACK OFF the chair?" and many, many phrases with the word "off" following Jack's name. Thanks to the "mind in the gutter" problem I sinfully have, I've started getting really concious of it, so I say the word "off" before Jack's name instead. But, it's pretty funny to see people's reactions to the "Jack off" phrases, as my husband calls them.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

Hi Elise, Too funny. I remember when I was in college I had a young cousin enamored with the book "Everybody Poops" which went through the animal kingdom explaining well, you know, in cute cartoons, it was hilarious. It had a companion volume called "Everybody Farts".

I keep meaning to link to you on my links and tonight I'm going to, under "journals on the journey" (that's under ye miscellany), hope you don't mind...

Blessed Sabbath : ) Wendy

bluemountainmama said...

great's funny how we try to avoid the names for those private anatomical parts so much. we use about every word except the correct one...don't know why! and i know i have many of those moments!

Jeannie said...

in reguards to the comment made by Lindsey at enjoythejourney...Just he other day I bought my dd10 a globe to help with our MOH curriculum and finding countries in and around the middle east. She was looking at it one day and she said "Mom! Look there is a place called Etheopia!" I said yes of course there is. Then she asked, "Are there really starving children there?". I chuckled and said yes there are. She said, "Oh. I thought that was just something parents just told their kids to get them to eat." The globe paid for itself right there. LOL


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