Thursday, August 30, 2007

I Still Believe It...

...He does all things...well.

The little one has flown to the arms of Jesus.

This mama is left behind to rest in the arms of her family, overshadowed by the Most High. The tears come and go, and the smiles, too, as my children are most deft at pulling joy from the depths.

- As Corban clings to my waist and reminds me, "We'll have lots more, Mama, I don't want you to worry," even as he weeps, for he so wanted to be a big brother again.

- As Micah spontaneously declares, "I'm sorry you are not preg-n-ant, Mama," pronouncing each syllable and consanant with clarity.

- As Eliana scrunches up her face and whimpers, mimicking Mama and yet comforting her as she pats Mama's neck with a dimpled hand.

Kevin and I would covet your prayers, dear ones, as we wait for the physical proof of this baby to come forth. We yearn for a natural cleansing, as the body will do, when given time.

Mentally, I am struggling as David did - shall I plead with God for the child? And yet...I know it will not return to me. There are three children still present for me to care for; I cannot hide away. So when the little body and its' watery home begin to pull away from me, then will I mourn.

The weeping shall last the night, but the joy will come in the morning.

Come Autum. Blow in, Winter. Spring always brings new life.

He still does all things...and it is so good.

A song from my childhood has been making melody in my mind and brings great comfort - speaking words of truth to this human, failing heart:

Tho the fig tree fail to blossom,
And no fruit be on the vine,
And the fields yield no food -
I will praise thee, Lord divine.

Yet will I praise thee,
Even in the night.
Even in the midst of the storm!

I will rejoice in you, My Lord,
I'll joy in the God of my salvation.
I will rejoice in you, My Lord -
My God, my strength and my song!

I miss you all so much. I have felt your prayers these past weeks, and am so very thankful. Lord willing, I shall return soon.

Hug your children. Teach them well, but remember to stop and play more often! Love on your husbands, serving and doing, but don't forget to stop and snuggle into the crook of their arms - they are a physical reminder of the safety our Father provides. And always, always...

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)

All my love,
Elise

52 fellow travelers shared:

Cindi said...

Oh Elise, I wish I could be there to give you a hug from me as that reminder. A cyber one I hope will do {{{Elise and family}}}.

We love you,
Cindi

Ann V.@HolyExperience said...

My sweetest Elise....
No words. Just a heart that cracks with yours, tears that quietly mingle down...and knees that fall to the ground to give Him thanks for He doeth all things well.

No words...but a hand to take yours, to squeeze tight, to nod, and just be with.

My heart is so with you today, my friend....

Grace and Peace,
Ann

Beka said...

Oh, Elise.
I am weeping with you, praying so much for you, wishing I were there so I could give you a big hug.
He does all things well, yes He does. May He give you His peace and hold you close as you rest in His arms.
SO much love to you...

Tracy said...

Elise,
My heart is breaking for you and your precious family, and yet I know that God is sovereign, and good. I know your pain, as I miscarried many years ago before my eldest was born. I pray that you rest, enjoy those dear ones next to you, and lean on His everlasting arms.

EEEEMommy said...

Dearest Elise,
Beloved of God,
My prayers are with you and your family today and in the days to come.
God is glorified that even in your sorrow you have chosen to rejoice in Him and bless His name.
Yet I will praise Him...never cease doing so.
May His goodness like a fetter continue to bind your heart to His.

I know another song based on that passage in Habakuk and also Isaiah 40...this is the chorus,

Yet I will exalt the Lord
I will rejoice and lift my soul
To Him who is the living Word
Who sustains my life,
My salvation and my strength
Though men grow weary
Though they faint,
I'll wait for Him
For Him I'll wait,
And with eagles wings rise,
And with eagles wings rise.

Rest in Him,
Angel

deb said...

Elise ~ my prayers are with you. So sorry to hear your news of the little one but also acknowledging that the Lord knows best what He has for each of us. I love the Habbakuk verse you quoted...yet will we praise Him!

lady laura said...

Elise--I am SO sorry for your loss. There are no adequate words. I understand your pain as I also have children who await me in Heaven.

I am praying God's deepest comfort and peace for you and your family, Elise.

randi---i have to say said...

I am leaving some hugs here in your comment box today. I am so sorry for your loss, Elise. I am trusting God to comfort you and to lead you through this.

Prayers...

Sarah said...

Oh your words Elise! Straight from Heaven, every time you post. God surely speaks through you to the heart of all who are truely listening. I echo my email to you this morning. I am covering you in prayer. "To Him be the glory, for ever and ever, Amen!" I love you sister, oh how I love you!
Sarah

Munchkin Land said...

Oh Elise, my heart aches with yours. Please know that I'll be lifting you and yours in prayer in the weeks ahead. I am truly sorry for your loss.

You have my phone number if you need to talk or to pray.

I love you,
Jenn

Audrey said...

As I read the first few lines, I shouted NO! My flesh crying out for you. Yet, you in your wisdom and faith, brought me back to His will.

He still does ALL things....good.

Yes He does!!

I will be praying for you dear friend! I will be crying for you. I will be whispering your name. I will shout to the heavens... "Rejoice" as a knew and most precious soul enters into His Kingdom.

With love,
Audrey

Betty said...

Oh Elise,

Your words still bring back the memories of a year ago for me. The tears still come so easily.

May the Lord enfold you in His arms and hide you in the shelter of His wings. May He tenderly heal your body and heart.

Grace & Peace,
Betty

Cindee said...

Elise,
I went through this five months ago so I know something of your pain and I'm so sorry. I grieve with you but not as do the rest who have no hope.

The Solid Rock
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.


There's no greater foundation for our hope than that! My prayers are with you.

Cindee

Sandy said...

We love you, Elise, and we are praying for you.

Sleep-Deprived said...

We are SO sorry for your loss. Love and prayers from our family to yours as you grieve ... and as you heal.

Beth said...

I have had two little ones return to Jesus at nine weeks. My prayers are for you. God has obviously blessed your family, and will continue to do so. Your faith is so evident...I ashamedly admit that it took much longer for me to be able to praise God in that particular storm.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

You and your family are definitely in my prayers Elise...

Paix,

Wendy

Ness said...

Elise, I am so sorry for your loss but praise God for your faith. Remember God has said, "I love you and you are Mine. Weeping endures for a night but Joy cometh in the Morning." May the joy of your family and the peace that passes all understanding be yours. You and yours are in my prayers.

Mindy said...

I am so sorry Elise.

Erna said...

Dear Elise,

Having lost two of my own in miscarriages, I understand the loss of hopes, dreams, and life that come with a pregnancy. Many hugs being sent your way. I will pray that the Lord will enable things to pass normally.

Kenj said...

I'm so sorry. May God give you peace.

Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

Oh Elise. I'm so very sorry to hear this. You are such a trusting Daughter--an encouragement to us all in a time of trial.

:(

The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon and be gracious unto you.

Stacy said...

dear Elise,

Tonight as I was making dinner I wished you lived closer so that I could stop in, give you a hug, shed some tears with you, and set a meal on the table for your family.

I've been praying much for you today, sweet sister.

Love,
~Stacy

henryteachers said...

Oh Elise! You are such an example of faith and trusting in the Lord. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Rebeca said...

I came over from Stacy's blog and I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet little one. On this day last year I learned that the baby I was carrying had died in my womb and I know well the days of waiting, and hoping and praying, wondering if there could be some mistake, hoping, hoping against hope, and letting go all at once. And I know the peace and comfort that are gifts from our Father, who holds our little loved ones safe in His arms. I pray for you and your family, that this peace may be yours, and that the coming days you will know His presence.
With love in Christ,
Rebeca

chickadee said...

oh elise, my heart is breaking for you and your dear family. i just went through this recently and i do know how you feel. i too waited for the physical proof and god answered all my prayers with that. it all happened naturally and easily. i pray it will be the same for you.
melissa

Cresanna said...

oh, Elise

May you know the depths of His comfort & strength. Tears ...

Cresanna said...

Safe am I
Safe am I
In the hollow of His hand

Sheltered o'er
Sheltered o'er
In His love forevermore

No ill can harm me
No foe alarm me
For He keeps both day and night

Safe am I
Safe am I
In the hollow of His hand

Staci said...

Elise,
Your strength and faith are amazing. I am so very sorry for your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Staci

Mrs. "M" said...

ELise,

So sorry to hear about your sweet baby. I will prayer for you as you say goodbye for now to this little blessin....that you will see again one day. So blessed to see your comfort coming from Him.

Charissa said...

Elise,
My heart weeps for you, having just lost my first baby to miscarriage. May the God of all comfort be your stay.

"I am Jesus' Little Lamb,
Ever glad at heart I am,
For my Shepherd gently guides me,
Knows my needs, and well provides me.
Loves me every day the same,
Even calls me by my name.

Who so happy as I am?
Even now the Shepherd's Lamb
And when my short life is ended
By the angel host attended,
He shall fold me to His breast,
Safe within His arms to rest."

Love and prayers,
Charissa (Beka's sister)

Wendy said...

I'm so sorry Elise.

I will be praying for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Elise, dear child of God! My heart is so heavy for you and Kevin... and at the same time is encouraged by your words.

I learn from your life.

Praying for you to our ever Faithful Father.
Chris in Canada

Shannon said...

I mourn with you, dear friend. Even in your sorrow, you have such amazing faith. Lean on Him...He knows and has felt the way you feel.

Shelley said...

So sorry for the loss of your little one. So thankful for your testimony of God's faithfulness. Many hugs to you and yours.

Love, Sheley

Maxine said...

Keep rejoicing in the Lord, dear. And keep believing that He does all things well. Elise, I left a brief note for you at my place, but not by name. I want you to read it and remember.

Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Elise, you are in my prayers. I've been down that road 2 times and it is never easy, no matter what stage you were at. I will be praying for you dear friend, and I pray that God will grant you peace and rest in these days.

Much love, friend.

Holly said...

So sorry, my friend. I am praying for you.

Kendra said...

Oh, Elise, how I sympathize with your pain and sorrow! You and your family will be in my prayers.

Rachel said...

Elise, you and your family are in my prayers.

~~Rachel
www.nothinggold.net

schnuckiputzi said...

I am praying for you and your family. You've been such a source of comfort to me, and I pray that the Father hides you under His wings and comforts you.

Joyful Days said...

My prayers for you Elise. May you feel the Father's hands holding you and your dear family. Rest in His unchanging love.

Blessings,

Julie

Jane said...

You are in my prayers. We too have traveled that difficult road. God's grace is alltogether sufficient! Just last week - my husband did the funeral for a little one - about the same age as yours. Brought many tears - and much time for reflection - and also thanksgiving. They are safe - they will never feel pain - they are with Jesus. How sweet the reunion will be!!

Jane

Me said...

You have my prayers. Love. M

Joel and Jaime said...

I am so sorry to read this! My prayers are with you and your family!

Mrs Wibbs said...

Oh Elise... I am so sad as I read this! One should never underestimate the grief that follows the loss of an unborn child, even a tiny one. It is a very private grief, yet I, like many others, really really know what you are - and will be going through in the next few days, weeks, months - and maybe beyond? But you are right to keep your eyes fixed on Him, to praise, still, and to smile through the tears, for this is where healing and strength will be released.
I do pray that the Lord will hold you very very close, and that you will know His comfort and enormous delight in you, His precious child.

Much love to you
and lots of cyber(((((hugs)))))
Rachel xxx

Alycia said...

Dear Elise, My heartfelt prayers and comfort sent to you this evening. I understand your loss, as I lost two of my own in the womb. It is a difficult road. Your words are straight from the Lord and He shines through your blog and this post. I am lifting you up in prayer my sweet friend..

rcsnickers said...

Oh Elise, I am so sorry to hear this. I know your pain and will be praying for you! God will bless you again!

Letisha

TaunaLen said...

Oh, my sweet friend, Elise. My whole heart reaches out to you in a mingling of joy and sorrow. Joy in the utter goodness of our Father, and sorrow in the loss, however temporary, of this little one. When my baby Amber died at four months, this verse of David's faith in God, and in seeing his child again bolstered me up and strengthened me like no other could. I will give myself to prayer for you and your loved ones in the next several weeks. Know that there is another, who is mentioning your name to our God, and be comforted in the sharing of a burden, as your prayers for me and mine have comforted me. My sincerest prayer is that God would bless you, more and more as you rest in His goodness.

My sincerest love and friendship,

~TaunaLen

bluemountainmama said...

elise, you are truly a precious child of God. what beautiful words and faith... here... even in the midst of your sorrow. you will be heavy on my heart this afternoon....

much love.....

Christin said...

My heart truly grieves for your loss, as my husband and I also have little ones waiting for us in Heaven. It truly gives me a whole new perspective when I hear "store up your treasures in heaven". You know?

I have a friend who also lost 3 babies...and one of the most comforting things she said to me right after we lost our last one (4 mo. preg) was: "I understand. Well, I understand as much as I'm able. But this is your loss, and we all grieve differently."

It gave me the freedom to grieve as I needed to. Not as others expected me to. ...may you, also, feel the freedom to experience the depth of emotions as they come and go, without guilt. without shame. without apology. And most definitely being overshadowed by OUR Father.

May He fill that unexplainable void.

Heather said...

Thank you for linking to this today. I needed to read it. I am in the process of m/c right now. There is joy and comfort in His arms, but still tears and pain...

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