Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Grace

Physical proof come and gone...Mama resting.

Colorful crayon drawings of my favorite things lie on the bedside table; purple mountains, horses; houses with wrap-around porches - my sons took special requests this morning. And a little blonde angel in pigtails blew kisses to me from the doorway all day long.

Fragrant flowers decorate my bookshelf, the dining room table, the countertops. I inhale deeply and often, taking in so much more than sweet scents; love and comfort fills my being.

Grace has been written all over this time. I see the hand of God working mightily in a situation not brought about by His doing, yet set to rights with lessons and comfort abounding.

I felt His hand on my shoulder as I shook in fright when my water broke, and I beheld the eyes of my little one, its tiny body already deteriorating in the harsh air of this world. He held out His hand with a whole, healthy baby sitting happily in the palm, and whispered, "That is not your baby, Beloved...this is." Safe in the arms.

Rain spatters my window, the blinds flung open so I may see the clouds roll across the sky, blown helplessly by the wind; the sun beginning to appear again just in time to set behind the Oquirrh mountains. Me? I snuggle further under my quilt, thankful to be anchored to the Rock through this storm. Helpless, yes, but in the grip of grace.

Oh, may my eyes never fail to see what He has done, is doing, and will do! May my ears always be open to hear the beauty of grace that rains down on us all. (Mark 8:17-19)

I rest in Him, and only Him. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

35 fellow travelers shared:

Beka said...

I read this with tears and a shudder, and yet I am thankful that this ordeal is over, and that you are safely on the other side, recovering, and that He is giving you much grace.
I don't know what else to say, but my heart swells for you. What a testimony you have been through this.
Keep resting in Him. Blessed be His name, indeed.

Shannon said...

I have been there and have felt the way you feel. My heart breaks for those who experience a loss of this kind. You remain so faithful and that is such an encouragement to those women who need to hear it. I will continue praying for you and your family. In all things, to God be the glory.

Rebeca said...

Shedding tears for you, for me, for all the mamas and daddies and siblings that have had to say goodbye in this way. I'm thankful that you are safe, and resting, and bathed in grace.
Praying,
Rebeca

Tracy said...

I'm praying for you.

Cresanna said...

Praying for you ... thank you for all you share ... I am blessed by Your heart for Him

Loni said...

I am so sorry. I found your site through Holy Experience. My heart goes out to you. I too have gone through the loss of three miscarried babies, a stillborn daughter at 36 weeks and a 16 year old son. I am so thankful that we have the hope and peace to know our babies are in heaven. But until the day our tears are wiped away, they will still come, and there will be that missing child on earth that will grip at your heart. Allow God to hold you - and indeed, joy will come again in the morning.

Loni
Finding JOY in the Morning
http://joyinthemorning.clubmom.com

Joyful Days said...

Many prayers for healing and comfort for you and your dear family.

In Him,

Julie

:..Rebekah..: said...

Elise,
I too have lost a precious little one, so I am comforted by your words. I think of this baby often, and the four children I have been blessed with since even talk about this baby. They wonder if it's a boy or a girl. My son (the only boy, with three sisters) insists that he has a brother in heaven.

Thank you for sharing. Your faith and your beautiful words are so encouraging, and I am blessed to be able to read them.

God bless,
Rebekah

Lyric said...

Delurking long enough to let the tears speak.

Your heart, these words...a gift.

I pray you find a continuing abundance of His peace and comfort, strength and healing.

Safe in His arms, yes.

Amy said...

I know I shouldn't me amazed...but I am--that God uses you to minister to MY heart when YOU are the one hurting in this way. Praying for you, friend..

love, Amy

QueenHeroical said...

quietly sitting, hands resting, head bent in silence, heart held out in knowing, in caring, in prayer for each of you.

-Krina

Mrs Wibbs said...

Sweet, beautiful Elise... Am so relieved with you that this is all 'over', at least physically. Now the healing can truly begin.

I also wanted to say this: your words are amazing, honest, faithful and moving beyond compare!! I feel ashamed of my own attitude to little trials, when you are so clearly right there in God's embrace, trusting Him, clinging on to Him and surrendered to His will for your and your family's life. You are so very precious. So thank you for your expressions of faith and comfort even at this time!

Tami Boesiger said...

You are a testament to the grace of which you speak. Rest in peace this day, safe in His loving care.

Kimmie said...

May God's arms cover you with comfort, as you mourn the loss of your precious babe. There are not words to show that we too share your sorrow, your pain is felt through your words and we are lifting you to Jesus' arms. May you find encouragement all around you, may friends bring you His love and touch as your heart seeks His face.

God is good and His love for you in neverending my friend. Take courage and trust him with all things.

Wish you could come by my house for a hug. (I'm in Ct if you want to ;-)

Kimmie
14 years of infertility
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Maxine said...

I'm so glad that God has brought you through this, dear. Enjoy this time of resting under your quilt...and in the arms of the Lord. Enjoy the kisses that are blown your way and the lovely drawings. They're the best. I've already said my prayers of thanks.

Kendra said...

May you continue to rest in him as you look forward to the day when you will meet this sweet little one.

Audrey said...

Blessings and peace to you sweet Elise....for you have blessed so many by your words of true faith and love and complete trust in our Lord.

Rest well, snuggle deep!

Mrs. MK said...

((((Dear Elise))))

What amazing grace of God to lead you through this valley. God is good, and His faithfullness reaches beyond all we can comprehend. Thank you for your honest words---those of us who have been where you are at nod in understanding, and weep with you, and marvel at God's plan of suffering---yet blessedness for the little ones in His eternal presence.

EEEEMommy said...

(((Beloved Elise)))

Beverly said...

Oh Elise,
I am relieved for you, yet I feel the sadness of your loss. I wish that I could bring you a cup of tea and some muffins and just cry and pray with you.

Continue resting in Him ... find your strength there, and in the love of your family members who love you so much.

Rachel said...

Praying for you, Friend.

~~Rachel
www.nothinggold.net

TaunaLen said...

Still praying, my dear friend.

Rest and Peace,

~TaunaLen

Sarah said...

Be still my heart! Love to you my friend as you, moment by moment, fall into the arms of the Most High, letting Him infuse you with peace and comfort, and even joy as you rest in His sovereignty. Again, my shoulder and a listening hear is but a phone call away!
Love, Sarah

Melanie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You write beautifully.
I gave you an award. Drop by for the details if you are interested.

Stacey said...

My heart aches for you dear one.

"You give and takes away,
You give and takes away.
My heart will choose to say,
Blessed be Your NAME!!"

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Christine said...

You have an amazing faith, Elise. I am in awe of you. I am so thankful for your peace and the completion of this time that now allows you rest. Love you.

Erna said...

Elyse, I'm so glad that things could pass normally. I am more grateful for the loving arms of our Lord, and your family, that have been surrounding You. God is faithful. I have seen my own little one, about 9 weeks in gestation, and it was hard but I love the picture that you painted of a whole baby in the arms of the Lord. May our little ones dance and rejoice together until the day we go home to be with the Lord. Hugs to you & yours.

Debi said...

Elise...
I was so saddened to hear of this turn of events, but am so encouraged to hear that you are abounding in His Grace.
~Debi

Quinne said...

Praying with you... With love in Christ, Q

Mindy said...

I am also still here thinking of you and praying for you. You are loved.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

My heart goes out to you Elise. All i can do is hug...

Paix,

Wendy

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

May the grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus continue to keep you. My prayers go up for you and your family.

Blessings,
Susan
www.shareyourgrief.blogspot.com
www.livingtheadventurouslife.blogspot.com

Holly said...

So thankful for God's grace. I've been praying for you, dear Elise.

Jenn Lynn said...

Oh Elise, my heart is still breaking with yours. I will continue to uplift you with prayer, as I know there will be little reminders from here on out. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you!

Laura said...

My dear sister-I am so sorry for your loss. You'll be in my prayers.

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