Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Seasons of Prayer

Early morning prayers of late have been whispered from my pillow.

And the God Who Never Sleeps and I, we talk.

Over the years, I've slipped in and out of rhythms of prayer, rising to spend some waking hours lifting up my children and husband and friends in need, and devoting others to simply praying for the survival of long days of schooling and cooking and cleaning and mentoring, knowing that my home and my spirit are a battleground for the enemy who would see my family and our choices fail.

But lately, I haven't found my way to the lantern on the mantle, and a match has not lit the wick in weeks. My favorite afghan stays folded by my favorite chair, and the teapot has been abandoned for the warmth of my comforter.

Because from my pillow, as I rest a little bit longer, Lord, I haven't been able to find more than a few words to shape eloquent prayers for my children, to speak girding prayers for my husband. I haven't even been able to begin to know what to ask for the day that lies ahead. I try, but it feels weak.

And it hasn't been sitting well with me.

I wonder if it's enough, these conversations with Him that I've had. And even throughout the day, I've only had a word or two to spare. Please.

Oh, Lord.


But soon, there is another owie to kiss (tenderly) , or a meal to cook (gratefully), or a story to read (gladly!) And the worry and disconnectedness I feel is shoved down a little deeper and I move away from Him. Or so I think.

I pushed open Little Man's door this morning, and squealed out Good morning, buddy! (yes, I squeal). And we wrinkled up our noses at the stinky diaper and waved hello to the mountains and I laid him on his back to change.

Sho, he said.

And my busy hands and busy mind stopped being so ridiculously busy and I sat back on my haunches.

Sho! again, and he clapped his hands and looked meaningfully into my eyes.

I'd forgotten. Ever since I laid my first baby back to change their diaper, or an outfit, or even as they get older and we're just slipping on some socks and shoes, I've begun a conversation this way.

So, I'll say. How did you sleep? Did you have any dreams? Guess what we're doing today? Are you hungry? Want to read a story?

Sho, he'd reminded me. Let's talk!

And honestly, I know it happens a lot with me, but His words were coming through my baby's mouth and shooting straight into my heart.

So, I just want to talk with you. Lay it all on me, princess. I'm here.

That line of communication, it's just a breath away. I don't even need to dial, thank goodness. Just speak a word or two. He's right there.

All day, I've turned that word over in my mind, whispering it softly. So. And I imagine Him saying it gently to me in the early mornings, or at the kitchen sink, or kneeling next to the bathtub getting splashed from head to toe. And I feel such peace.

There are seasons and rhythms throughout all of life, and days that seem endless really aren't, and before I know it I'll be back to my lantern and afghan and favorite chair for morning prayers, but for now? I'm going to snuggle a little deeper into the warmth of my Comforter, and I'm going to be okay with it.

Cause He is.

tuesdays unwrapped at cats

10 fellow travelers shared:

Pam said...

Very touching. God spoke to my heart through your post. I pray He will continue to comfort you and let your tears become gold as a sacrifice to Him.

Amanda said...

Your blog is beautiful. I love your heart for the King. You have a new fan!


Bethany said...

"Sho" I can just see him saying it (as he points somewhere else ;)... so cute!! Love you Elise!

Mom said...

Loved reading your blog! Your heart for God is contagious. I found myself wanting to slip away to pray. I am a mother of six and appreciate the power of prayer. You can encourage others to pray for stronger families by posting the prayer request below to your blog's side panel.

Many, many blessings!
A Mom

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

I wish I'd seen this yesterday, when I was fighting the world for time to tell Him what I was thinking... thank you for your real. you don't put others off with it. you invite me in, invite me outside myself.

Linda said...

This absolutely ministered to me Elise. I have struggled with prayer for forever it seems. My life just doesn't seem to lend itself to predictable schedules these days, and I do just what you have been doing. I snuggle under the covers next to my sleeping husband and whisper prayers. I went through I time where I felt the "rote" prayers, the same requests over and over, were somehow becoming stale. Then our Pastor talked about the kind of prayer you wrote about - those simply on-going conversations with the Father. It is praying without ceasing - making Him a part of everything, no matter how small.
I find it such a blessing.
I wonder if we are just so much harder on ourselves than He would ever be. He loves us so graciously, so perfectly. His desire is to have us draw close to Him.
Thank you for this Elise. I do love your precious heart.

Carrie said...

dear sweet friend, I find myself in the same season as you right now. A little one who still wakes up at night can cause this :) ... I find that as much as I yearn for that quiet time in the morning (time before the others wake, causing a constant, wonderful noise in the home) my soul desire is to walk with him in constant communication... to utter prayers as I'm folding laundry and watering plants, cleaning bathrooms and fixing meals.... and to be continually filling my mind with His Word.

Blessings, dear one.

PS - I popped over to your other blog and oh my, how precious. God is so good to bless us with these children!

sarah said...

so often i feel like i speak just my wants or just what is an immediate need. there are such blessings in life to be thankful for and to unwrap.

thank you for the giving me perspective for my daily life.


xoxo, sarah

Edie Mindell said...

I love your blog!!! You always inspire me to talk to GOD everyday of my life. :-) You have a beautiful life ahead of you and your family because GOD is beside you all the time. Thanks for being an inspiration to all who reads your blog. Such great and loving family.:-0

jess@notyouraveragemommy.com said...

Thank you for your sweet words. I see you wrote them a few months ago...but they were perfect for me tonight.

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