Monday, January 24, 2011

Wordless

Oh, friend. You there?

Your kindnesses in my inbox, the smiles in my mailbox, the strength-words on my phone. You're so dear.

I know I said just for Advent. And I am very aware that Advent became all of December, and December has now slipped into January.

A minister's wife carries many things close to her heart. She must. Her husband's burdens are her own, and though she creates a safe haven in the home, wipes clean the dear faces he loves, and dirties her knees on his behalf, the wounds can be very deep. She must wrap them tenderly and firmly. And quietly.

But friends? In staunching the flow, somewhere along the way I lost my words.

Just at the dawn of a revival of words.

I think perhaps He quieted me so I would listen.

And oh, I have.

I've wondered over the past couple of weeks when He would come to check the wound, see if it might be unwrapped, give me the go-ahead to exercise it, test out a few croaking words.

And this afternoon?

I took my girl's hand to lead her down the hallway to her bedroom for Quiet Time. She'd been twirling and pointing and leaping all morning, and now she kicked a leg back and said, Mama, we can do ballet back to my bedroom!

So, quietly as we passed the deep breaths from behind Little Man's door, we twirled and pointed and leapt, dancing to the music of our giggles.

In a few moments she, propped up on her pillow and safely ensconced behind a wall of books, suggested, You can do ballet back by yourself now!

I pulled the door quietly shut and stood there for a moment.

Then I smiled.

And I twirled and pointed and leapt back up the hall, happy tears forming by the time I finished, breathless and shaking.

And I felt the story building up inside me, saw it welling out of my eyes, had it written before my fingertips hit the keys.

How ironic is it that I haven't yet chosen a word for my year?

Rather I'm grateful just to be finding my own voice again. To frame the words.

Kind friend, thank you for being a safe place. Though I may still stutter and blush and croak, I think perhaps I've found my way back to weaving the words, my story, His story, once again.

(If you haven't been following along with the absolutely beautiful and moving and vivid letters between friends Holley and Ann, here is where to start. Words are the careful discussion everywhere right now. It would seem He's trying to tell us something. Let's listen, shall we?)

Related - other words I've been meditating on in this wordless season:
Proverbs. The whole book.
Andrea's beautiful thoughts on Words

Elizabeth's Gratitude for Words goal
Christa Wells' Frame the Clouds (click on song number ten on the player)
By Our Love, a modern hymn by Christy Nockels- Sisters, we were made for kindness...
A Cluster of Camphire: Words of Cheer and Comfort to Sick and Sorrowful Souls (gift from a precious friend who has upheld me in prayer)
(In)courage

17 fellow travelers shared:

I Live in an Antbed said...

So very, very lovely! Thank you for faithfully ministering to your precious family. Such important Kingdom work!

Melissa said...

Oh, sweet Elise--how I have missed you! You pop up in my mind and on my heart on a regular basis, though I've been remiss in telling you so.

Looking forward to more words...

Elizabeth Foss said...

Welcome back! I missed the music of your voice.

~nanashouse~ said...

Oh how I have missed you. Welcome home.

Guam Homshers said...

Can I tell you how I smiled when I saw in my Reader this morning that you had posted? I have been a silent follower for some time and was so thrilled to hear from you again. Your words never cease to stir me and point me to our Savior.

I too am a minister's wife. I understand. Praying for you this morning, that you will dance and find joy in Him today.
~Melody

Guam Homshers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacy said...

Oh, hello.

I have been wondering about you.

I'm so glad you're here again, as I've missed you.

(((and now? I'm praying for you!)))

Amanda said...

I've been feeling quiet lately, too. It's nice to reconnect, isn't it?

Debbie in CA : ) said...

Sweet One,

I was so glad to see you had posted after such a time of silence. Prayers go up in your behalf -- I need not know details in order to approach my Father in Heaven.

May you be blessed as you love and serve and care for that precious family of yours.

XO!

Linda said...

Oh Elise, you have been missed. I pray that all will be well. I think I understand. Perhaps as you begin to use your beautiful way with words again, complete healing will come.
I am treasuring these letters, waiting impatiently for Ann's book, seeking the Father's heart about where I could possibly fit into all of this - me with so little to offer.
I am so glad you are back sweet girl.

Rebecca M said...

I've missed visiting you here and have often wondered if all is well during your quiet.

Thanks for sharing so sweetly about your girl and the happy tears you cry over her cheery suggestion that you dance as well.

Sending prayers up on your behalf.

Andrea said...

hi friend~I missed your words. They are soul-healing for me! You are in my prayers.

Sarah said...

I've thought of you often in my own spell of wordlessness. There is a season for quiet, a time to listen and be fed and filled and a time to speak. I think sometimes I tire of my own voice when the tank is low. And yet, there are even words in the valley that need to be eked out, because I find that God teaches me through my own words and I miss the lesson if I don't speak. I don't know exactly what's been going on for you, but I will be praying for you sweet sister!
Love, Sarah

Christine said...

I am praying for you and your precious family. Let the words come, naturally. Love you. :)

tonia said...

here.

thinking of you often. praying today. i am often quiet in the storms too. just take your time. but we are so glad to have you back here with us.

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

I have missed you.
Always love you.
Forever treasure every word gift you offer.

You are loved.

Carrie said...

Sending my love...

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