Found

“Daddy, where did you find Mama?”

Kevin looked at me, smiling, then asked, “What do you mean, Micah?”

“I mean where did you find her?”

I chuckled, thinking, “As if I were a lost little puppy.”

Indeed.

“I found her in a church building!” Kevin said. Micah sighed, “Oh, good!”

Through the remainder of the day, the question echoed in my heart. “Where did you find her?”

For the truth is, God found me first.

And I wanted to be found, but I did not know it.

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the midst of tears
I hid from Him… Francis Thompson – The Hound of Heaven

As I wandered, raised in truth but walking with the world, I held onto my tags – they said, “If found, please return me to God” and “My name is Beloved”. But the company I kept and the locations I frequented were unfamiliar with my Owner, and so they did not encourage me to return to Him.

A chorus of prayer was lifted on my behalf, bending His ear, beseeching the Hound of Heaven to seek me out. Family, friends, even strangers.

For a long time, I resisted the temptations thrown at me. Even the ones that were subtly suggested. And then, I just didn’t. My Rock was gone, or so I thought. I had slipped too far, and so what did it matter?

Days slipped into weeks, turned into months, and I moved through life without hope, without joy, longing for my family, and longing for my soul-shepherd.

And then one day, I was careless.

I dared to believe that I could go back. This is a choice I’ve made. I can unmake it, can’t I?

I walked through that day in a pleasant stupor, wondering, hoping beyond hope, believing it was possible.

And when I touched the doorknob to my lonely apartment, He was suddenly there, a presence so overwhelming that I slid to the floor in tears. The unbelievable had become a reality. He found me, His hand caressing my head, my soul panting for Him. And my wandering was over.

“All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might'st seek it in My arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home:
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!" (Hound of Heaven)


Ten years ago, on the eleventh of this month, I was baptized into Christ, in the presence of family, friends, and in the presence of my husband-to-be (though we did not know it yet!).

And there is where Kevin found me.

My heart sighs, “Oh, good.” It is so good.

Where did He find you?

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*As an aside, I have to recognize my children. It is their innocent questions and childlike faith that feeds my own. What would I do without them?

And speaking of children as blog material, you must read this. Just be careful not to slip -my heart melted while I was there and left a big puddle on the floor.