Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Letters to Eliana


There's a reason I call you my Sunshine.

It isn't just because you make me laugh when you blow on your cottage cheese - out of habit after a burned mouth - and then realize your mistake and slap your forehead with a smile.

It isn't just the smile you bring me with your declaration of "Happy!" when I enter your room in the morning to wake you. Or the same declaration when I ask if you are ready for your nap.

It isn't even just the absolute delight I feel with your screech of "Daddy!" when he walks through the door, and then you dance crazily around the living room until you collapse.

No. Not those things. At least not those things alone.

You are my sunshine, for you bring me laughter in hard moments. Moments of lost temper, moments of irritation. Moments of great sadness.

Mama is clumsy, because she tends to move so quickly. Daddy is always asking her to slow down, but how can she? So much to do! So when she drops something, then grasps for it and knocks it even further away, it is very frustrating. For a moment. Then a giggle comes from her side, and a little pig-tailed pixie is looking up with dancing eyes.

Mama cannot help but laugh.

When there is company coming, and Mama sits making a list and speaks aloud her tasks (not always with a happy tone), you think it is so funny! You pat her leg until she looks at you, then say, "Mama!" and laugh uproariously.

Mama does, too.

When Mama weeps in the quiet of the kitchen as memories and what-could-have-beens assail her, you bring her your comfort. The birds-eye cotton diaper we now call your "lovey". As you sadly, soberly pass it up to Mama, offering the thing most dear to you, you bring sweet laughter in your comforting as Mama bends to receive your hug.

You see, Eliana, so many moments of anger and frustration and sadness have been averted because of you. Mama is learning how to tame her reactions, for your little eyes are always watching. Finding the joy. Memorizing for the future.

I want you to remember laughter. I want you to remember a sigh and a silly smile as Mama stoops to pick up the errant item, only to *pretend* to drop it all over again, for the delight of another giggle. I want you to remember the pencil dropping to the table and a quick dance around the living room; a break from the have-to's. A moment to delight in laughter.

I want you to remember, always, how to comfort by giving the best of what you have, and offering it with a happy heart. How to use laughter to heal.

You make this Mama's heart so happy, Sunshine.

For surely the Son's face shines brighter when He hears your laughter.

Let it shine.

I love you,
Mama

28 fellow travelers shared:

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

She shines just like her Mama. And her Father God.

The music plays.
It's good to be here with you, Elise. Very, very good.

How I send love...
All's grace,
Ann

Staci said...

These letters always make me cry.

Blessings!!

Staci

Anonymous said...

I always love your letter to Eliana. She is blessed with a mother who is radiant in the Lord. Blessings to you today!

A said...

Beautiful!

Stacy said...

Elise,
What a sweet and joyful daughter God has blessed you with! And what a wonderful mama she has, too.

I must say, I'm relieved to hear that I'm not the only clumsy one-- always going too fast, especially in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure at least every other day when I rush to pull out the ice cube tray?... ALL the ice cubes end up scattered on the ground! ~sigh~
Next time (so, tomorrow, then...) I'm going to laugh!

~Stacy

Beka said...

Sniff... such precious words. And such a precious little girl you have. Sunshine... I love that.

We can all learn from your little girl's example-- giving comfort to others by giving the best of what we have, and offering it with a happy heart.

Your tender words have warmed this aching heart tonight... and how I thank the Lord for how He uses you, how His light shines through you.

Sending love and hugs your way!!

Inspiration Station said...

She's a darling Elise! I read somewhere that on average children laugh about 400 times, while adults only do 15 times. They sure bring us joy. I hope you are doing well since your loss and move.
Thinking of you,
Mindy

Anonymous said...

*sigh* So very lovely.

And don't let anyone tell you that it's, "because she's a girl."

It's because she is Eliana. Each child brings a gift to the family...and this gift has its special place. It is a gift that is especially mesmerizing and delight to the harried mommy, no?

Oh yes--and humbling.

Kendra said...

I love how you take time to write down all of these thoughts. It seems like so many of the sweet things that my children have done often become faded enough for me to wonder, "now which child was it who did that?" How I wish I had written more of their sweet little traits down to preserve them!
Oh, and this made me cry too.

Beverly said...

A joyful heart doeth good like a medicine. How blessed you are to have your sweet Eliana. Your words to her are so beautiful and your love so evident that it gives me the "happy tingles." I can just see her offering you her lovey. I am blowing her a kiss - she is so precious - as is her mama.

Maxine said...

I have no doubt that your little Sunshine will always treasure this wonderful letter. How delightful she is and how blessed you are.

Melissa said...

She is growing so fast...it is amazing how it happens.

~nanashouse~ said...

our little ones hone life down to the essential. whatsoever is good and kind and loving. all the rest just falls away. time for comfort food, a good story, candles, a warm bath and prayer. love you!

Andrea said...

I *love, love, love* your "Letters to Eliana". I love looking at her little face there on your sidebar. Sunshine, indeed.

Laughter. Yes. So thankful they bring that to us. In *all kinds* of situations.
This is a *treasure*.
Blessings to you, Elise. ((Hug, Hug, Hug))
Hope your day is better today...let's pray it's a 24 hour bug, right!!

Tracy said...

I know that Eliana will treasure these writings as she grows older, How could she not. Such sweet letters from her Mama.

Kate said...

I absolutely LOVE your kids' smiles! They are the greatest! Eliana seems like such a joy. I'm so glad you are able to see the little blessings God gives you every day through her sweet smile!

Angela S said...

I loved your coupon storage idea on another blog. Its great and solid and will totally work for me!

Sarah said...

You have inspired me to write these things down! What a sweet little girl you have. As we count our blessings, I pray they will somehow drown out the saddness of our losses. We are so truely blessed Elise!
Love, Sarah

Rebekah said...

Lovely....
I love the music!
God bless,
Rebekah

Sandy said...

Another beautiful letter ...
Sandy :)

Shelley said...

I just love these letters you write to your baby girl!

Jenn @ Knee-Deep in Munchkin Land said...

Elise, I love these letters. It shows the love you have for her, her brothers, her daddy, and her God. It's such a beautiful glimpse into your soul. Thank you for sharing such heartfelt words.

I'm sorry I missed your call (again) and I will be returning it very soon. I hope your week is going well, friend!

Anonymous said...

Oh how sweet. Your little diaper story reminds me of when I was beyond dispair after the loss of our stilborn daughter and trying to feed our daughter who was relearning out to eat after her open heart surgeries, and I just began sobbing. She took her bib and started wiping my eyes. Oh, the tenderness is still there, 10 years later! THANK YOU for sharing so beautifully. What a treasured letter for your daughter!

I am also checking up on you. I sent you an e-mail the other day. I hope you got your package. Be in touch, ok?!?!?

Love, Loni

Anonymous said...

Thank you once again, Elise, for touching my heart and bringing tears to my eyes. These are precious, precious moments that need to be written and cherished.

Give Eliana a hug from me and my girl -

Amy... said...

I feel so happy when I read these letters, Elise! I'm so thankful that you share! love, Amy

bluemountainmama said...

you actually have to wake her? i could probably count the number of times on my hand that my son wasn't the one to wake us. i'm not sure who he got his early-bird genes from... :)

but, seriously..... another absolutely beautiful letter to your daughter...and, oh, how i know so well the medicine of a cheerful hearted young 'un around. i think sir laughsalot and your 'sunshine' are two peas in a pod! :)

wendybirde said...

I just love these letters Elise. That image of Eliana offering her blanket is so precious, so healing...and its just as wonderful that you noticed it, that you are witnessing the beauty of her soul...

Peaceful Week : )

Be Inspired Always said...

Lovely letter. I wrote one to my son's. :)



Jillian

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