Monday, June 22, 2009

As You Love Me

I have little time to visit blogs lately. I miss that weekly dose of inspiration from my fellow women; mamas, sisters, friends. That encouragement infuses my writing, and so I think you can see why it has been rather quiet here of late.

Tonight, however, I found inspiration at (where else!) the kitchen sink.

Scrubbing dried spaghetti sauce from pots too numerous to fit into the dishwasher, and delighting in that last little bit of cool breeze blowing in my June windows, I listened as my husband read to his boys from Jack London's breathtaking, adventurous book, The Call of the Wild.

I had left them, moments before, sprawled on the living room couch. Corban, long-limbed and brown, prefers to lie as a pretzel would; arms and legs twisted in uncomfortable positions. I mean it. All that's missing is the yummy rock salt. Micah, his nose and cheekbones red from playing in the sunny, windblown outdoors most of the day, leans back and stares at the ceiling.

I smiled and turned to plunge my hands into the dishwater, listening close to that exciting story.

John Thornton holds his head close to Buck's; he has made a hasty boast, and he cannot take it back. It falls now to Buck, this proving. One thousand pounds, sled fully unbroken, from a standing position. For one hundred yards.

As you love me, Buck, Thornton whispers into his sled dog's ear. As you love me.

Those words fell softly on Buck's heart; a heart which had been broken and beaten down before he met John Thornton.

And he broke that sled out. And pulled it. One hundred yards. For the love of his master.

............................


And I began to weep there at the kitchen sink.

I stepped around the corner to peek through tears, and both boys were smooshed as close as possible to their daddy, eyes wide, hearts pounding, I'm sure.

Hands plunged deep again.

I am often reminded of His love for me. It is in the eyes of my husband. It is in the freckles and smiles of my children. It is in every breath I am granted, the mountains rising above my head, the music that moves me to tears. It is in the reminder of Jesus, who hung on the cross for me that dark and beautiful day.

But it is not often that I consciously think of how much I love Him. Why is that? I wondered.

So I said it there at the sink.

I love you.

I said it over and over and over again.

As you love me, Elise. I hear Him.

When I am faced with overwhelming tasks, when my sleep is interrupted all night long by a teething babe, when I've snapped and hurt and scalded and denied...

I'm going to break that sled out of the ice. I'm going to turn it upright when it's been upset with carrying too heavy a load. I'm going to pull with all my might, and walk...

As far and as well as I can.

Because I love Him.

So much.



Say it with me today.

19 fellow travelers shared:

cathy said...

oh my. breathtaking post.

xoxo

alli said...

beautifully spoken - and something i needed to hear - something i need to do. thank you.
alli

Andrea said...

Isn't it wonderful??
I miss you.....
here, at my place.
I love seeing little Gideon's *look*.
Blessings, dear friend.

Kimberly said...

Thank you for those words blessed and directed by God.I often think of this in the context of my marriage. I have a wonderful husband but because of my own sinful selfishness,I at times struggle with feeling the desire to show him love.I have sensed the Lord's prompting on many occasions, "unto me, love him unto me."

Thank you for using the gift that God has given you with words to bless the hearts of others. :)

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

Yes...
Yes...
Yes...

As you love me...
Feed my sheep...

Thank you, Elise

Angel Rhoden said...

Thank you, thank you. The beauty of words in literature amazes me. Allowing us to be directed right back to Him.

QueenHeroical said...

because I love him ... amen.

Cindee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cindee said...

Thought-provoking and eloquent as usual. Thanks!

Carrie at dumptrucksandteacups said...

hmmmm... yes, I'm saying it with you. because I love Him. yes.


Sending my love.
Carrie

Christine (Craftling) said...

Oh my. Y'know I read every post since finding you a few months ago and God used you to reawaken my spirit, and once again you move me to tears. (Happy tears.)

Thank you also for the nostagic memory of reading that wonderful book myself when I was a child.

Blessings to you and your lovely family. I love reading about them.

Hugs,
Christine xx

Deidra said...

Oh, so beautiful.

It's been awhile since I stopped by here and I'm so glad I did!

Kelly said...

So glad I didn't miss this, thanks to Ann... Wow...

Kristin said...

We have a teething babe at our house, too. As one who find comfort in the calm of sleep, it is a true act of love to HIM to mother as I know I should.

Continuing to find that stillness in HIM...http://from-my-life.blogspot.com/2009/06/listening.html

Linda said...

I am here - traveling from Ann's blog. I am so glad I came.
This is such a touchingly beautiful post.
Yes - because we love Him - because He first loved us.
I will be back to read more - to get to know you better.

Katie Eagy said...

So good, Elise. Thank you.

Debra said...

Visiting from Holy Experience ... that was beautiful! Thank you for sharing it!

Calm Energy said...

It's late (11pm)... but not too late to visit such an inspirational post. Thank you for sharing this. I love those wonderfully written stories. Call of the Wild has always been a favorite, and one of the first I ever read to middle school students 30 years ago!
May all I am be pleasing to Him,
~Maria
ps. Thank you, Ann Voskamp for the warm introduction to Elise today!

lisa said...

Thank you Elise.
Exactly...I am saying it with you this morning.
Ann told me to jump over here and read this today:) So glad I did.
You are a blessing to me.

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