As You Love Me

I have little time to visit blogs lately. I miss that weekly dose of inspiration from my fellow women; mamas, sisters, friends. That encouragement infuses my writing, and so I think you can see why it has been rather quiet here of late.

Tonight, however, I found inspiration at (where else!) the kitchen sink.

Scrubbing dried spaghetti sauce from pots too numerous to fit into the dishwasher, and delighting in that last little bit of cool breeze blowing in my June windows, I listened as my husband read to his boys from Jack London's breathtaking, adventurous book, The Call of the Wild.

I had left them, moments before, sprawled on the living room couch. Corban, long-limbed and brown, prefers to lie as a pretzel would; arms and legs twisted in uncomfortable positions. I mean it. All that's missing is the yummy rock salt. Micah, his nose and cheekbones red from playing in the sunny, windblown outdoors most of the day, leans back and stares at the ceiling.

I smiled and turned to plunge my hands into the dishwater, listening close to that exciting story.

John Thornton holds his head close to Buck's; he has made a hasty boast, and he cannot take it back. It falls now to Buck, this proving. One thousand pounds, sled fully unbroken, from a standing position. For one hundred yards.

As you love me, Buck, Thornton whispers into his sled dog's ear. As you love me.

Those words fell softly on Buck's heart; a heart which had been broken and beaten down before he met John Thornton.

And he broke that sled out. And pulled it. One hundred yards. For the love of his master.

............................

And I began to weep there at the kitchen sink.

I stepped around the corner to peek through tears, and both boys were smooshed as close as possible to their daddy, eyes wide, hearts pounding, I'm sure.

Hands plunged deep again.

I am often reminded of His love for me. It is in the eyes of my husband. It is in the freckles and smiles of my children. It is in every breath I am granted, the mountains rising above my head, the music that moves me to tears. It is in the reminder of Jesus, who hung on the cross for me that dark and beautiful day.

But it is not often that I consciously think of how much I love Him. Why is that? I wondered.

So I said it there at the sink.

I love you.

I said it over and over and over again.

As you love me, Elise. I hear Him.

When I am faced with overwhelming tasks, when my sleep is interrupted all night long by a teething babe, when I've snapped and hurt and scalded and denied...

I'm going to break that sled out of the ice. I'm going to turn it upright when it's been upset with carrying too heavy a load. I'm going to pull with all my might, and walk...

As far and as well as I can.

Because I love Him.

So much.



Say it with me today.