So I find myself at the end of the day, wondering if perhaps I should have been a little bit more specific with God.
For just this morning I stood in the shower, the grime and ache of the last couple of days of flu in our household circling the drain, but I still felt scattered and weary.
I prayed for clarity.
And when I passed through the kitchen and spied my journal lying open on the counter, I paused and wrote that same prayer at the top of a fresh page. Hoping and praying for clarity as I do my regular work while also preparing for company...
Ah, I thought. Time to tackle that list!
But the day looked nothing like what I thought I had prayed for.
My scattered thoughts caused me to stand at the sink, staring off into space, so that when Little Man patted my calves, I turned immediately, subconsciously, and scooped him up to my hip. There was no dragging him around the kitchen attached to my leg like a barnacle while I'm whirling from counter to sink.
When Eliana asked for stories and recipes and aprons and cuddles, I couldn't think of what else I needed to do, since I had misplaced my list, so we accidentally made biscuits to go with dinner even though I already had homemade rolls on the counter from Sunday. Also, happily, ladybug cookies are on the menu and their ingredients are added to the shopping list.
We read Farmer Boy in the new treehouse, four of us up there, testing Daddy's skills as a carpenter, wrapped in blankets, lying on backs staring up through the branches still filled with green apples.
I froggy-hopped a dozen times to my baby in the kitchen, just to hear him laugh over and over. Oh, my aching thighs! I pushed he and Eliana on the swings, taking pretend kicks to the face, making my big boys laugh.
We ate meals, scattered blocks and trains about the living room, spread homemade apple butter on bread and talked through mouthfuls and crumbs... but I can't tell you what I accomplished on my *list* today.
Actually, I can. Nothing.
And so, a realization is written in my journal tonight: It was the clarity I prayed for! It just came in an entirely different form. Everything else seems unnecessary after a day like this.
I'm going to go ahead and keep these prayers non-specific. He knows what I need so much better than I do, anyway.
p.s.~ I did beat Corban at Battleship today. There had to be some clarity involved with that, don't you think?